How complicated is to find the ideal Christmas present? I enjoy Christmas and the presents but it is never easy to buy the perfect present to anyone and it is not even a question of money. I realize now even having bigger budgets it is still a problem to decide what to buy. That is always that paradigm with the useful present versus the useless present: That’s always a question for me, how useful is what I am buying? How funny is it? How disappointing will be the moment one unwraps the present and finds what is inside? Well, perhaps that’s not such a big deal but I like my friends to be happy with my presents
As a result, today I spent a good time looking for presents and present ideas, Mum, Dad, Granma, best friends, friends, not that special friends, someone.. there is a big list, I am afraid someone is going to stay outside ‘cause the budget is limited. In the meantime, I managed to buy nearly half of my presents, for the first time on my life I didn’t let it to the last minute.. I guess because I want to buy the presents in England therefore I have to hurry ! :) I welcome any suggestions about presents, for instance for me is always difficult to buy presents for men, dad, boyfriend, male friend.. HELP!
Yesterday evening I decided to make a brake on my report progress (not that it is progressing very fast) and went to enjoy a short time with some friends and get a bit of a relief from this painful life I have got. We went to the theatre in Nottingham. It was the first time I have been to the theatre besides Nottingham has a massive cultural offer, there's always events going on. There is a big stage, called Nottingham arena where concerts take place, and all the famous international bands come here from time to time. There will be a Metallica concert here in February, for example and I just realize Prodigy is coming in April, I have to go! I went there to see Whitesnake, in July.
Nottingham has got two main theatres, a modern and an old one; Yesterday, I went to the modern one to watch McBeth by William Shakespeare. My expectations were quite high because I had the idea that I watch it before, as an adapted version for opera in Moscow. However, I soon understood I was completely wrong and it has nothing to do with that. The play was generally pretty boring; I did not fall asleep as I could but found myself thinking about my life several times instead of following the play, but did not miss the story or its content. Indeed it could have been done in 15 minutes instead of two hours.. actually it took a little bit more (ihihihi).. I dont want to spoil you the story, perhaps you want to go and see it but in the end I have got the impression that whatever genius present on that script was lost with time and nowadays there is nothing much interesting in couples of monologues about power, life and sorrow, stupid fake murders followed by psychological depressive monologues ending with a sword battle done by two apprentices on their first class which made me feel sorry for them. So what could happen to make it really different? Add a bit of a special effect, put the actors interacting with the public or interrupt the play with a trembling voice encrypted by fear after a sudden blackout and tell everyone to evacuate the room as soon as possible! (Was a bit creepy, everyone thought there was a big deal) This is very unusual in England where people is a hundred toms more civilized than anywhere else, people left the building very quickly (but still orderly), someone had a panic attack and in the end that was just a blackout indeed! I was expecting something a lot more exciting, fire or bomb.. bah, we had to go back then to watch the 5 minutes of boringness remaining…
Just one more line comment about Mcbeth, I struggled a bit to understand the language (English I suppose).. some sort of archaic English and I bet you that most of the English people present didn’t understand much more than me I am afraid.. that made it even more boring..
The whole thing was not that bad but I will be sure I will not go again and next after comes my favourite part. We went to Nandos, which pretends to be a Portuguese chain restaurant, but at least they sell portuguese beer! We got there at 10:25 and hardly got served, you know here in England dinner its served from 5 pm to 7pm usually and I am afraid they only serve until later sometimes because of the foreigners here.. It’s ridiculous!! And so annoying!! We could get the food and I have got my SuperBock! Very nice though :)
Today I am devastated, too tired but cant sleep because I am too tired. It sounds contradictory but it is true; Sometimes one gets so tired that it is hard to fall asleep. I havent been to bed since saturday night and I cant sleep.. How spooky is that? I am too cold, it is freezing, miss my extra duvet which went on a trip and left me, cant wait until it is back.. Bloody flying duvets.. Been spending too many nights no sleep enchanted by the world of STATs, my very best proteic friends which either agonize me or make me happy; These time they got me trapped, I see them everywhere, I am so sick already. Could it just become a bit lighter? For now I just want to sleep, have got too much coffee perhaps, the heart beat is weird, bit of and orchestra, brain is numb, feeling like I am going to pass out.. but no, it is just too much running out, gonna try again, good night :)
Hope that all the blind actions done by means of love are devoted to happiness and goodness indeed, mesmerized by the greatest of the feelings, wisdom downs, senses may go blur, and for the best of my intentions what I am not allowed to see under this state of unconsciousness will ultimately build me or be part of me, and for that, there is usually only one way to be forgiven upon disregard of any other choices.
_____Pips _____
If I could tear you from the ceiling, And guarantee a source divine, Rid you off possessions fleeting, Remain your funny valentine.
Don't go and leave me, And please don't drive me blind, Don't go and leave me, And please don't drive me blind.
If I could tear you from the ceiling, I know the best have tried, I'd fill your every breath with meaning, And find a place we both could hide.
Don't go and leave me, And please don't drive me blind, Don't go and leave me, And please don't drive me blind.
You don't believe me, but you do this every time, Please don't drive me blind. Please don't drive me blind..
I know we're broken, I know we're broken, I know we're broken.
If I could tear you from the ceiling, I'd freeze us both in time, Find a brand new way of seeing.. Your eyes forever glued to mine.
Don't go and leave me, And please don't drive me blind, Don't go and leave me, And please don't drive me blind.
"In general, assemblies of proteins have been analyzed using two complementary approaches: the biochemical and the genetic. In the well-known analogy to understanding how car runs, biochemists disassemble the engine, transmission and body, characterize all the pieces and attempt to rebuild a working vehicle. Geneticists, by contrast, break single components, turn the key and try to determine what effect the single missing part has on the car’s operation. This implies that genetic methods often require a specific phenotype before they can be carried out." (inBiol Proced Online. 1999 Oct 4;2:1-38).
Found this definition on my readings, quite nice one, I am both of them.
I couldn’t resist putting this video on my blog and thats dedicated to all my male friends! You guys are a bit of a pre-historical beings right? Look at the amount and sort of things that make men happy and self realised... Its unbelievable how can you use the brain sometimes..
PS: Women still love men. PS1:Women will always love men. PS2: Men cannot live without women. PS3: there are perfect girlfriends but not perfect men!
A quick post to congratulate Barack Obama couldn’t be omitted from my blog. The ones that know me properly also know that I am not a politics lover although I like to be generally informed. For instance I didnt give proper attention to the whole US presidentials, didnt follow it since the beginning and only started to pay attention to it 3 or 4 months ago becoming a Obama supporter, because for any citizen in the world it DOES matter whoever is the US president and that is not something that gives exclusive respect to the USA and its people; I am happy Obama is now the new USA president. I think yesterday was a very important day to the world's history and I hope this new president will make the difference in how the USA are playing the dice in the world context. I am happy young minds arose and gave place to what I believe will be a withdrawal of the US tyranny that was spread all over during the past 8 years. From now let’s watch it! Get more info: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_depth/americas/2008/vote_usa_2008/default.stm
Ok, this is not time to write a post in the blog and I tell you I am doing this; its 6.20am, wednesday the 5th, I am still in the office waiting for a bit of a bright dawn to get off here, I am bloody tired, did not yet sleep and have been working the whole night with no stops until right now. In the meantime I chatted with Boavida (a friend of mine with a funny name.. translating "Boavida" means "Good life") whether good or not today his life was better than mine but was nice to have his company for half the night whereas he was following the American elections (Obama is getting there), reporting me the results I was hardly working on my report, before he left he shout me "geeeeeeeeeeeeek", "PhD geeeeeeeeeek" that was at 3.30am, and additionally he added to his nick on MSN "Pips is the most geeeeekest PhD ever" !! Well, I am actually not even a proper geek, therefore not the most ever and whether eventually you want to consider me geek just because I do science, I work on my PhD until morning (see that I have the deadline coming) and I enjoy computer games (but I am now forbidden to play any thing, discipline imposed for the sake of my PhD), I am not and I am cool. Dont believe my friend, although nowadays to be geek is a way to be cool still dont get to be stereotyped with a remotely negative connotation. Ok, my brain is breaking down, I cant go much further with this post, I may just say Good Morning!
Some time ago I wrote a post about the place to settle down, the place to live, to grow a family, the place to get old, a place called HOME and I wrote that I still haven’t found that place. Nothing changed so far..
I do not feel myself home where I am currently living as I did not feel myself home where I used to live, with my parents, where I spent my whole life. I like moving, travelling, discovering new places, arriving and departing, roaming around the world would have been a dream for me.. and isn’t it anymore? Well, the thing is that although I am enjoying moving around, meeting new people, facing new cultures, challenging myself against the eventually most extreme situations I am indeed a social person and I cant travel alone or with the uncertainty of being alone a good part of my journey and that is my handicap for all these dreams of discovering the world!
I enjoyed so much the times where I left home with no plan where to go, got my car, a good CD playing and drove for hours.. only me and the road and the landscapes and the wind coming through the window, very lonely, on the mood to revise my life, my plans and my fantasies but it only made sense because I could quickly go back home. I am not sure whether I could do it for real, with no turning back for a long time... I couldn’t stay like that forever, I always had to go back to the "reality", to my friends and people, to my life, those moments became just like silent screams same effect whether you go on the top of a hill and scream; that makes one feel so free! That sort of fantasy of going around the world, driving with no destiny, flying to an uncertain part of the earth; this will never happen. I cant do it alone and that is not something to do with someone. There’s a lot of contradiction, but that is a bit of me again and dreams not always have to be true! There are dreams one rises in his head that are absolutely incompatible and they cant happen together, its an option of one or another and that’s the same here! Rather stay home than go roaming, or go roaming rather than stay home? Both would apparently make me happy but both have consequences and to me the first seems a lot more comfortable. Human tend to chose the easy ones, isn’t it? I am so human! On the other hand I just think that my choice makes me mentally fairly healthy then I will not probably go roaming around the world, I will stay wondering how it could have been, that will make me happy because at the end of the day I am closed to the ones I do love and that’s is beautifull.
Unfortunately I end up coming a little further that I would like to be but I know it is close enough to be back for any special event or a simple hello.
And this is a post mainly for those who may be afraid of me going further in the future and not returning and to those who like to have me near by :)
However for the memory of those times where I would be roaming, one of my favourite songs:
And just because "there is not one without two and two without three" in a proverb inspired post I am posting my third post of today! Proverb wise I just recalled that today I had to attend for a workshop in Designing research and statistics since my PhD course/school requires me to attend some sort of PhD courses and accomplish 20 credits in the end of my first year and because I did not yet complete that since I got lazy in the first months I am now in a rush to get the bloody credits.
This all story is to tell you that what I always thought that would be the expression "to put the cherry on top of the cake" is actually a WRONG english translation of a portuguese proverb being just a plain translation word by word whereas proverb wise is riscky and mostly of the times it doesnt work! In fact, and during the workshop of today, the teacher used the RIGHT version of that expression in good english coming with, "and that is brilliant therefore is such as icing on the cake!" Suddenly some light came into my brain and then I remembered that last time I used the expression "the cherry on top of the cake", my house mate, Chris didn’t seem to quite understand me.. and now I know! Its a shame they dont teach us this at school.. grrrrr
Now a proper post, or not, to be honest I have been lacking proper inspiration or what I think is inspiration to write in my blog.. This writing up (my first year PhD report) is basically killing me and I cant see the day I finish this up and go on holiday, rewarded though! I remember when I was doing only lab work I wanted to have some time to write something, and actually I think that should be the right way to do a good research not only performing bench experiments but intercalating them with a good reading and writing. However I reckon very little amount of people have that disciple and mostly everyone sticks to either do experiments or writing/reading but basically while doing one of them I seek to do another one (very human though). My lack of inspiration is then not only regarding my blog but the bloody thesis-like report where I drop a few lines per hour, sort of a slow motion writing with the uncertainty of the sense of whatever I am writing plus the certainty that I will regret not having had more time to write it when time meets the deadline.. I feel that I am very good working under pressure and only when something is on due I am able to brilliantly make it happen (although always with a significant amount of psychological and physical effort like skipping night sleep and so on..)
For now I just feel so numb, most of my feelings are asleep and just a few of them are awake but just in a certain form of awareness, well, I cant explain, feelings are hard to explain and suddenly I just found the perfect song for today.. (yet out of the classics I said I would collect here and I WILL with time .. )
Unable so lost I can't find my way Been searching, but I have never seen A turning, a turning from deceit
Cos the child roses like Try to reveal what I could feel
I can't understand myself anymore But I m still feeling lonely Feeling so unholy
Cos the child roses like Try to reveal what I could feel But this loneliness It just won't leave me alone
I'm fooling somebody A faithless path to roam Deceiving to breath this secretly This silence, a silence I can't bear
Cos the child roses like Try to reveal what I could feel And this loneliness It just won't leave me alone And this loneliness, It just won't leave me alone, ohh no
As I promised in the post about the Halloween I would leave one or two photos to let you know how I looked like on a death woman costume (I think I did not mention what exactly I was going to dress up) but now you know, there was place for everything, I saw all kind of costume but here you are me and my friends:
As a result, today I spent a good time looking for presents and present ideas, Mum, Dad, Granma, best friends, friends, not that special friends, someone.. there is a big list, I am afraid someone is going to stay outside ‘cause the budget is limited. In the meantime, I managed to buy nearly half of my presents, for the first time on my life I didn’t let it to the last minute.. I guess because I want to buy the presents in England therefore I have to hurry ! :)
