End of the road?

My viva is in two days. Viva is the name of the PhD thesis's defence in the UK. I feel almost relieved but at the same time terrified. I wish I did not have to do this, but I guess this is the only way to finally accomplish what I have being working on for 4 years!! So I cannot wait! it is a big FINALLY! If I am successful, in two days time I am going to feel so free! My PhD has been kind of a torture, a true nightmare... I think most people would say the same, at least most people I know are unhappy and frustrated with their PhD's, but why is that? In my case there are many many reasons.. I think almost everything that can go wrong with a PhD did happen to me! Lets see... Changing projects because first project was no longer funded, waiting a couple of months to know whether there would be any funding at all to continue whatever alternative project... first supervisor and second supervisor broke up and I was left with just the first supervisor. Then, first and only supervisor disappears for a few months and I'm left with no supervisor at all. Later, first supervisor returns but refuses to give proper supervision saying he does not "believe" in it(weird..) .. This means: no training, no monthly meetings, no thesis planing, no planing at all.. He would see me if I had a result to show him and that is it! At this stage I should have mentioned already that I was in a lab surrounded by germans who spoke german all the time around me (including my supervisor).. I felt lonely and apart, without understanding what was going on for the majority of the time. No support, no help, no friends. The only non german speaker, apart from myself, was a technician (poor him), who eventually left after becoming depressed... guess why? Then ok, surviving all of this, I still had to fight against a crazy radiation inspector who hates my supervisor and who therefore decided he could seek some sort of revenge by messing up with me. He unfairly accused me of wrongdoing, a matter that triggered a total mess, starting with a formal complaint, followed by unlimited meetings with all sort of people in the school, professors, technicians, head of school, then students's Union.. After a couple of months everything eventually ended and I was back to work.. work, but with some bullshit supervision, no collaborations, no friendly lab mates.. hard methods, no one to teach, show, explain. I had to learn everything on my own, sometimes by trial and error, spending nights in the lab, weekends in the lab. Stuff eventually worked out, got some interesting results. Time to put it together in a thesis but run out of funding! At that time, bloody supervisor who was suppose to cover for my expenses, but did not, said I could not finish! Although I had no money and therefore no time. Worked for 4 more months without a penny, got more results and told stupid supervisor I wanted to finish. He did not agree, I run away.. went to Portugal, wrote the thesis, came back, gave it to stupid supervisor who eventually skimmed through and guess what? He did not like the structure! Of course! We never discussed the structure before, ever! We never discussed anything related to my thesis ever! Stupid supervisor gave me his comments, I followed his advice.. at this point I just wanted to get rid of anything related to the PhD, so best do everything he wanted as long as that accelerates the process... But, surprise surprise, gave him the second version following his advice but again he did not like it! Yet, it was now based on his advice!! He said he had changed his mind.. Bullocks! therefore do it again! Third time writing my thesis up while still being asked to come to the lab because of course one cannot just write up a thesis full time.. there are experiments to run!! At this point I felt desperate, I was being used and abused. Without payment I was forced to come to the lab to keep my supervisor happy such that he would eventually read my thesis and give me corrections. But obviously he was delaying it, such that I would come to the lab more and more... it was insane. At a point he asked me to write a paper, a book chapter that was more than overdue. Out of desperation I said I could help, thinking ok, lets keep this guy happy. At the same time I asked and begged him to please read my thesis because I was struggling to live like this.. no money, no time, no sleep, no eating, feeling distressed and aggravated, trying to cope with everything. Plus the pressure at home to have my PhD finished and move on with my life which was the obvious thing to do! Got depressed. Yet did not give up. Wrote the book chapter, did the experiments and eventually got my thesis mostly corrected with some exceptions. It came to a point I could not take it any longer. My sanity was at risk, my health was severely jeopardized by all the stress.. it had been a year with no money, working night and day.. days in the lab, nights at the computer writing and reading.. lost 8Kg, my face was like a zombie's face. I could barely stand up, no strength in my legs, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. Decision made: hand in the thesis; tell supervisor to piss off! No second supervisor to ask for help, eventually got some support from a colleague and some other academics who could see it... supervisor went nuts with my attitude and is seeking revenge... kicked my name out of the book chapter I had devoted time to write: I filed a complaint against him. Rumour has that he is currently willing to destroy me. I do not know how, we do not talk, but I know he is mad and evil. I just want to get this done. I think I can tell that this means more than anything now. Good news are that I got a job, the job I wanted! Thus I just really have to pass the viva after tomorrow and everything will hopefully go back to normality I can go back to my real self. In hindsight I know today that I should have quit my PhD right at the beginning when I sensed all of this. I knew it! I truly did, but somewhat there was something in me that did not let me quit.. I think I always believed I would be strong enough to make it through, was I? I will tell you later ;)