Empty mind

I have been so busy recently that I forgot about the blog. It is not the first time.. from time to time I forget it.. sometimes I feel like writing and sometimes not. but I never feel the obligation to do it.. basically I have been quite moody and only focus on my work. Two weeks ago I finished my thesis plan, very detailed and now I only have to fill in the gaps.. meaning the text, the figures and everything essentially... I am feeling so much pressure that I can barely relax.. and though there are so many things running in my head at a time that I feel empty.. I feel mostly like a robot would feel.. if it would feel.. Just doing the tasks and ticking the boxes in a robotic concerted manner.. no distractions .. no fun.. just work work work... I don't feel human.. its sick. The worst is I know that some of the work I am doing is not necessary but I decided I want to do it, I decided that before and now I cant let it go.. I have to do it, no matter what.. There is something insane about me now. When I try to see ahead I know the time is too short for what I wish to do, but I try to avoid that fact  and just work more to get more done.. and then there are also so many things I end up repeating because they dont look like they should!! So insane.. I feel that if, by chance, I decide to do this kind of job in the future I will be very unhappy. Somehow it is very addicting, too addicting for me to do other things, to have a life basically! I want to have a life, I want to go home, and still have some energy for my family, or still be able to talk to a friend, to cook dinner and to watch a bit of TV eventually! This is no life.. And there is worse.. I just talked to a friend who just finished writing up a diploma thesis, and shared the experience of writing... so destructive! so I know that from today on it will be more and more destructive.. I want to stop this.. I hope I remember to read this, one day things are over and happy again, and I do not do the mistake of starting it over again! This is a reminder for myself and for you too!! Don't work too much, it makes life go so fast and although you may first denied it, with time, you will hate knowing that the time is gone and you forgot to live it!