Empty mind

I have been so busy recently that I forgot about the blog. It is not the first time.. from time to time I forget it.. sometimes I feel like writing and sometimes not. but I never feel the obligation to do it.. basically I have been quite moody and only focus on my work. Two weeks ago I finished my thesis plan, very detailed and now I only have to fill in the gaps.. meaning the text, the figures and everything essentially... I am feeling so much pressure that I can barely relax.. and though there are so many things running in my head at a time that I feel empty.. I feel mostly like a robot would feel.. if it would feel.. Just doing the tasks and ticking the boxes in a robotic concerted manner.. no distractions .. no fun.. just work work work... I don't feel human.. its sick. The worst is I know that some of the work I am doing is not necessary but I decided I want to do it, I decided that before and now I cant let it go.. I have to do it, no matter what.. There is something insane about me now. When I try to see ahead I know the time is too short for what I wish to do, but I try to avoid that fact  and just work more to get more done.. and then there are also so many things I end up repeating because they dont look like they should!! So insane.. I feel that if, by chance, I decide to do this kind of job in the future I will be very unhappy. Somehow it is very addicting, too addicting for me to do other things, to have a life basically! I want to have a life, I want to go home, and still have some energy for my family, or still be able to talk to a friend, to cook dinner and to watch a bit of TV eventually! This is no life.. And there is worse.. I just talked to a friend who just finished writing up a diploma thesis, and shared the experience of writing... so destructive! so I know that from today on it will be more and more destructive.. I want to stop this.. I hope I remember to read this, one day things are over and happy again, and I do not do the mistake of starting it over again! This is a reminder for myself and for you too!! Don't work too much, it makes life go so fast and although you may first denied it, with time, you will hate knowing that the time is gone and you forgot to live it!

Science and Humour, how can they work together?

I recently published a post about scientific comedy where I introduced you to the comedian Brian Malow and his scientific jokes. Later that week I discovered that there is a scientific journal named The Journal of Irreproducible Results (click on the link if you would like to visit the web site), and as the name suggests it publishes funny scientific articles. Unfortunately one cannot read it without paying and I haven't had access to any issue yet, but I think one finds things like this one figure shows you, and so on..

Nonetheless, the purpose of my post today is to strengthen the idea that there are a lot of funny things about science and  it can be accessible to everyone. However don't go and do a PhD just because you like science and feel fascinated by it, or at least not just because of that :p Do not underestimate. There's obviously a lot of effort behind the discovers of all times so it is never a cup of tea although most of the greatest discoveries were rather by chance when the scientist was focused on something else... 

However and probably because research demands so much time, patience and dedication, there are every time more scientists that feel they cannot take their science too seriously and they engage in humoristic events and  publications. I think it also feels very rewarding that the general public is getting more involved in scientific matters and that brings enthusiasm to researchers and, in turn increases the need to bring more information to the public. Information that is delivered in a non-academic way. 

Another example of humour in science are the Ig Nobel Prizes given every year to brilliant scientists with outstanding discoveries in improbable science! This is organized by another science and humour magazine, the Improbable Research and their motivation is "Research that makes people LAUGH and then THINK". Basically it can teach people a lot of serious concepts, making them laugh rather then bore them, and by doing so people are learning real science. It is another great way of bringing academic discoveries to the public. 

I realized 3 or 4 years ago a new subject was being strongly introduced into the fields of research, the so-called " research communication". It is becoming almost mandatory that students are taught about communication and how to deliver their lab discoveries and their academic topics to the general public. The era of the guinea pig scientist locked up in his lab in a basement far from the world and the society is over. Now people demand to know  what is going on, and the scientists have found their own ways of passing on the knowledge and captivating the public.

Personally I think that generally I am a good speaker yet I am very unsure about my skills of communicating my research to the public. I often think about it. I wrote a lot complaining about my PhD my I have never described what I'm doing.. I am putting some effort to that, and I hope I will soon post something on that matter, I promise!

"Sliding doors" moment or the fate changing moments of life

Have you ever watched "Sliding doors" the movie? If you do, you know exactly what I am talking about, if not you also know what I am talking about.. :P

watch the little video below to see how tiny little things change our life's fate...

Now coming to the topic, the reason why I decided to write about it, it is because there are moments like this one in the movie that you do not control, do not choose and cannot decide .. however there other situations where you clearly make a decision, that you know it is affecting, no matter what, the main course of your life! I knew I made that kind of decision when I decided to come to Nottingham. I could draw a tree with three branches based on the numbers of options I had before I took this decision. Each branch would represent three different lifes. One is the one I am living that derived from the fact that I chose Nottingham to do my PhD. There would be another one if I had chosen Manchester and another one for London. There would be multiple other less obvious and less likely options, but I am just saying the three I had in mind before I chose. And life continues like that all the time... Choose this, choose that, in detriment of other options and carry on to the end. Best option? I don't think that there is such a thing.. all options are potentially good because it is unknown what they drive you into and although I am not religious the bible presents a nice metaphor for these kind of episode, where you have a pretty and easy road that leads to hell and a steep and rough road that leads to heaven. I dont actually believe that the hard pathways are necessarily the right ones or the ones that lead to success and joy, but that is anyway not what the bible means, and not the point either.
What I want to say is basically that I feel that I did the right choice. I did not always thought that but given the present situation and the potential future it seems that I may have done the best choice. But how do I know? I don't know, I just feel, and yet I may change my opinion with whatever comes next, I don't think so. Now obviously there are "sliding doors" moments every day, and sometimes they maybe more important than we can actually think.

In the end there is nothing we can do about fate whether you believe it is pre-destined or not we cant plan ahead everything that's going to happen to us, there are so many variables that make it incredibly complex, no to mention the butterfly effect alone that introduces a lot of entropy! Probably I believe it makes sense that its this way and it gives life some sense too, but I still like to believe I did the right choice and that it wasn't a huge coincidence that I found here, in Nottingham, the guy of my life, who shares the same dreams as me and has similar life objectives.. I couldn't have found him anywhere else... therefore it was the right choice!

Euromillions - is it totally random?

Mostly everybody that plays this kind of game would say yes it is completely random and, of course, there is no chance to predict what numbers are coming up next time. I may point out that this is only partially true.. In fact it is not totally random although (and unfortunately) it is still pretty impossible to predict the numbers.  However, it is possible to group numbers by sets of odds based in the history of the game.
But.. why is it not totally random?
well.. it appears that at least in gambling nothing can be totally random, according to Persi_Diaconis a great specialist the matter of statistics, shuffling and randomness with particular attention to gambling applications, these kind of games where you have a set of balls in a tumbling machine or cards in a deck, there is always a limit to the randomness of the thing. So lets think how this makes very much sense..
The balls that enter the tumbling machine during the Euromillions draw do not enter it all at the same time. The same applies to the exit. On top of that the first ball to come out influences the second and so on. Also, the balls do not all have the same distance from the exit, and that also influences the results! It is virtually impossible to make it totally random, we also talk about 50 balls. And probably in every draw there are differences of milliseconds from the time the balls go in and each ball comes out, and that too also influences the result...
So all these differences and perhaps a few more together restrain the randomness of the game and make it more predictable than one would probably think! that is confirmed by looking into the statistics and the history of Euromillions by visiting this web site for example http://www.lotterypowerpicks.com/em_hotcold.htm Then you will see what I mean.. There are numbers that have almost twice more chance of being drawn  than others!! So think twice before playing. Indeed we can't predict the numbers but by choosing among a smaller set of numbers, therefore the ones that have the higher odds, there is an increasing probability of wining the the game! And this same strategy applies to pretty much all these kind of games!

Now good luck and fingers crossed ;)

Cool Advertising

T-mobile advertising campaign. It is incredible how the human voices can sound like authentic instruments in a band. Very funny video. Its worth to watch!! 

Sailing trip - building the dream

Last time I talked to my best friends we discussed my sailing dream. I am every day more and more excited about it and about making it real. There are few but very important things I need, to realize this dream among finishing my PhD, raising money, buy the boat, learn to sail and go. While I can't do them all I spend some of my procrastinating time doing the small things, like for example, planing the route. I want a route that's doable in less than a year, and I did some research about it. The route I came out with should be done in about 9 to 10 months giving us time for some stops in main planned places. These are the places we aim to spend some time:

Departure: Cascais, Lisbon, Portugal

Second Stop: Azores archipelago.

Second Stop: Caribbean Islands

Leaving Lisbon we would head to Azores, 9 portuguese islands in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. We would do our first stop there, visit the islands, and get ready for the next sailing chunk, the longest without pulling over - 3-4 weeks.









 




Coming from Azores we will arrive in the Caribbean basin (left). There we will visit some of the islands while heading towards the Panama canal.

 

Antigua

Barbados

Dominican Republic

Jamaica

Once we cross the Panama canal we will go to the Galapagos Islands. From the Galapagos we will head to French Polynesia, and cross the Pacific Ocean towards Australia. 

Panama Canal

Galapagos

We will yet stop at Cook Islands, Fiji Islands, New Caledonia cross the coral Sea and arrive at Queensland.

 

French Polynesia - Tahiti

French Polynesia- Bora Bora

By this time, we must have spent over 4 months of our time, crossed two entire oceans and visited some of the most stunning places on earth.

Australia - Queensland

From Australia we haven't yet decided whether we head north towards the Philippines and visit Macau later or we go to Timor-Leste and Indonesia. Either way we will end up in Thailand. Later we will go to Singapore and leave towards the Sri Lanka.

Bali-Indonesia

Philippines

Thailand

Singapore

Sri Lanka

From the Sri Lanka we will be going to Maldives, Seychelles and Mozambique where we plan to spend sometime looking around... 

Maldives

Seychelles

Mozambique

From Mozambique we go around Africa near South Africa coast, heading to the Brazillian Northwest - Recife, Natal, Fortaleza. We will leave brazil towards Fernando de Noronha Island and heading to Cape Verde. By then Our trip is nearly over and we must have spent about 9 months. We will need two or three weeks to arrive back in Portugal, still passing by Canaria archipelago.

Fernando Noronha

Brasil

Cape verde

The return to Lisbon will be the end of the circumnavigation and the achievement of our dream. For now it is only a dream that we are making real. But I am very confident that this dream will become true indeed. I will keep you posted ;)

Scientific comedy

Today I had a so so day. I took it a little easier. Experiments worked, so I felt cool throughout the day. Also I had a good night sleep and I guess that helped a lot. My mood was fine :) I did a little bit of procrastination and I found this comedian called Brian Malow, who is a stand up comedian that includes science related jokes in his performances.

After watching the video shown below I understood why I am doing a phd.. and I understood why I did this mistake too. Basically it all has to do with some confusion between loving science AND getting deep into a boring pointless scientific subject that has very little relevance to anything at all. I've always had a very strong interest in scientific matters and in the understanding of the universe, life and the human being, and that was always combined with being a good student and a confident person. I think these reasons together with (potentially bad) advice misguided me into this life, that has nothing to do with my passion and interest!! How frustrating...

Nonetheless I got the jokes and laughed and although I totally did not need to be doing any PhD to do so, I felt fairly happy about it.



This second video is a larger performance that includes some of the jokes told in the previous one and many others. Very interesting was that this was filmed during the WONDERFEST - The bay area festival of Science http://wonderfest.org/ , and this kind of thing, which I name as "science with public interest" motivates me and makes me sorry I cannot attend it this year. However, it gives me hope one day perhaps I will be doing something more human-world-relevant :)

Fire alarm, electrial tests and safety issues - a guide to the UK

One day had to be the day I was going to write about this topic.. It is not the first time I write posts about the British life and lifestyle (like this one and this one). I mostly criticize it and even joke but I can't help it.. some things are freaking weird!!

The exaggerated safety issues is something that worries me a lot and is critically disconcerting. One would think how can that be?? People may think that safety and safety concerns are something good, and they are, but just until a certain extent... From a certain point on it becomes obsessive and it is damaging!


Starting with the FIRE ALARM. There are smoke detectors everywhere!! I am obviously expecting hospitals and universities to have smoke sensors and fire alarms as well as office buildings and other institutions with many people that would be difficult to evacuate otherwise because it would be difficult for everybody to notice the fire and so on.. but c'ommon, I live in a maisonette, which is like a big studio with two floors but no walls and I have, not one, not two, but THREE smoke detectors inside!! And now you think, I live in a flat in a quite big building, that's true, but wait!! I used to live in a 5 room's house where again, there were....wait, ready???  8 fire sensors!!! And now comes the funny part, here in the building since I moved in there were uncountable fake fire alarms, guess what happens? The first one I walked outside, the second just checked through the window and talked to the neighbour next door who told me about the frequent occurrence of fake fire alarms and how annoying etc... the third time I just stayed alert but barely moved, the further ones I couldn't be bother anymore, and the bad thing is obvious.. if there is a REAL fire, nobody would probably check on me because they would rely on the power of the fire alarm to drag me out to the street.. I am currently more or less immune to the fire alarm and I can sleep through without  a problem (and my boyfriend put the earplugs on)... Conclusion: IT BECAME POINTLESS!

Ok, to be fair the fire alarm might be quite useful, yet it goes off far too many times without a reason and I think that makes people disregarding it. If it would work properly it would be just great!


There is one TINY but funny safety thing about electricity, that (probably) only happens in the university (perhaps in other big institutions too, I don't know) which is called the "electrical safety test". This is some kind of test (I know nothing about it), that all the equipment has to pass in order to be used.. Like I buy a kettle or something else which is technically ready to use but I can't use it before that it goes through that electrical test, whatever that is and for whatever that exists for... I wonder if that's just a way to employ more people! 

The last thing that I remember related to crazy obsessive safety issues has to do with a very bad experience I had a while ago and which I don't intend to detail specially because it is so sick that it would make you throw.. believe but never mind.. It has to do with radiation.. basically being in the biomedical research field some of my work involves working with the radioisotope P32. This is a very hazard reagent and obviously requires a lot of caution, which I perfectly understand. Radiation can cause serious damage to the human being including malformations and cancer when one is exposed for long periods to very high levels of radiation. End of story but no, in the university people go crazy about that. It is beyond understand.. they employ freak odd people to check on people who handle radioactivity and to use their personal frustrations to importunate the normal and simple life of scientists like me.. But in the end these same idiotic people throw extremely elevated levels of liquid radiation in a normal sinks, in the running water and say to my astonishing surprise that sometimes when they walk around the fields carrying a geiger counter (device to measure radiation - but who is the freak who randomly carries one anyway...), they can spot radioactivity!!!
I dont know but to me it really does not make sense... it's like so many concerns, so many rules, so many tests, but in the end who is worryed about who?

The point I want to raise is that in the end, to me, nobody cares about my safety or anything, they just want to make sure they are not charged in case anything goes wrong, basically they just want to wash their hands!!! Fire alarms?? yeah insurance requisites, they decrease the price of the insurance.. Electrical safety tests, fire lectures at the university, yes again insurance issues.. Radiation concerns?? yes avoid local trouble with the environmental agency but does not matter if a certain field across the university is fully radioactive as long as the inspectors cannot smell it inside, nothing else matters..

Therefore I question, am I really safe here? I don't feel so...

How to enjoy your research?

Or how to enjoy your academic research?
Does anybody know the answer to this question?


Personally I googled it, and unlike the usual google wasn't able to give me an answer!!! This never happened before! However, I am not totally surprised that there are no answers to this question. There are certainly many tips on how to enjoy your job and work and those can be used for academic research but they are common sense tips and motivators that do not simply respond to the question!


I know my today's post topic goes back to the recurrent topic of my life.. my research and my PhD. I feel particularly sad today. After a lot of effort and time spent to get some results, there are things that simply don't work..This is, as one can imagine, very frustrating, when you plan everything, spend hours putting a lot of effort, work after hours and over the weekends and in the end there is no result meaning that all that effort was in vain.. No one cares about negative results, that cannot be published and cannot figure in a PhD thesis, so upon failure one feels that has to catch up with the time "lost" which was the time spent working a lot but resulting in nothing, and the story repeats over and over again. I cannot enjoy this! How to enjoy this?


When I left the lab today I roamed through the corridors got to the lift then went back to the lab again to check on my cells (I am a bit worried with a cell line I bought yesterday, costed almost £600 and I am afraid to death they die before I freeze them). Then I left the lab again and again roamed towards the lifts and, as usual, stared a bit at the scientific posters on the walls.. Some of them aren't good or pretty or promising or interesting but regardless of that I always wonder how much time and effort (and money) was spent to do the research that's presented there..

The fact is I just can't see the light right now, or there's no shine in the dark for me now when it comes to research (or perhaps there should be). One day there is one thing that works just fine sooner followed by a set of frustrations... and that's the vicious cycle of research, I cannot see any amusement there!
Not to mention that (quite obviously actually) , there are people that, possibly under despair, fabricate data and publish fake results in order to move on, get funded and successful, and I don't know, but I guess sometimes it must be really complicated...


I guess I was just not born for this. I am a very hard worker and I usually enjoy working a lot, having results, achieving something, I like getting compliments for my effort and so on and so on.. With research I just feel that I am in a battle with myself everyday, testing how many hours I can work in a row without collapsing in order to compensate for the frustrations. I end up doing several additional less relevant experiments that I know they work fine mixed in between the tricky ones to cope with the disappointment  (its like giving myself a carrot, although I already know that..).. And if in the end I would at least offer something great to the world... but no, I know that my contribution to the universal knowledge is smaller than a sand grain. It is sad but it is just a purely academic dissertation about a very academic topic with inexistent applicability to the humanity..

However, if you know the answer for my question, please tell me, I can't hold it much longer...

"better to be fond of beautiful girls than gay" Silvio Berlusconi today

There were a few times today I wanted to post something, and I had something to post about, but as usual my day is so busy that I just kept postponing it until now I finally got home.

I sat in the sofa and checked the news (I hadn't had time for that before either).
It was with suprise that I discovered that the Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi was confronted today during an interview with a question about being allegedly involved with a 17 year old girl in a private party, and to which he replied saying, in a well humoured tone (I think): "better to be fond of beautiful girls than gay" or in Italian  ''Meglio appassionati delle belle ragazze che gay".
I couldn't help but laugh!! How bad is to be gay?? Apparently the gay community was quickly prompted with anger and replied "Better gay than pig!" LOL, And they could continued and see who is worse than who.. but lets see how can a prime minister say something like that? Its quite shocking treating homosexuality as disease.. I found it very irresponsible..


Being portuguese I listened to the original video and obviously I can't believe he really said that.. Check it out:

 

I have no problem with people who say what they think, but that was a little too much, and gay people do not hurt anybody!!